freedom not alawys a good thing

I can only speak for myself the freedom of being naked creates a great loneliness. Standing in the garage bungee cords attaching my nipple clamps to the garage door waiting for some one to pass on the street so I can quickly hide from their sight or the chance of discovery from those within used to bring a a wild feeling. Now today no one passed no one and no one is home it just reinforces the loneliness of not having some one to torment me.

While doing house work in the nude with the chance of someone coming home has had it’s affect also a cold absences of reason to slave when there is no one to slave for. I had once thought that being subservient to the vanillas that live with me with out their knowledge could give me some relief but when they do not know and do not take advantage of having a slave what is the point. No one is there to say do it again. No one to bring out the paddle or strap and redden one’s ass. The fantasy of having them bring their friends in to humiliate you in the position of slave serve those that once would serve me as the pecking order in vanilla life is different. The fantasy of embarrassment in front of those once called friends will never occur that is a hard fact.

At my age I wonder if I will find a dominant wishing to take me as a slave. I talk to many Dominants but it is all discussions rather then interviews for a position with them. I see now that the lack of a dominant in my life is a great draw back I ponder the idea of just removing my profiles and try to find happiness in the vanilla’s world sitting back and smiling not at the company but the sweet memories of slavery that I was able to have putting aside the desires that I still foster deep inside.

Just a quiet rant with myself one that I hope will pass quickly and quietly.

A day too late or just a chicken

A knock on the door that came a day too late for hand towels. Now while I was naked it was not hermit time so I could chicken out when the knock came I asked who it was when he said Purolater I grabbed my house coat to cover the nipple clamps and the bell hanging from my balls.

Funny how brave I am when I know no one will be there but standing in the garage I saw the truck and hide till he pasted the garage door. Hmmm I wonder if that says anything about my being caught theory or if I have to be caught by surprise like really caught rather then to expose myself to ridicule on my terms.

I guess while I can plan these things the strength really comes from having a Dominant dictate them to me along with the idea that punishment would be handed out for chickening out.

SO I guess I really do need a Dominant to force slavery upon me not rely on my desires for embarrassment but those of another.

Sigh!

Hermit time yesterday

A nudist at heart, that I am I so enjoy my naked time yesterday. Besides The top half of me being seen by a neighbour who thinks I exercise in the garage so that is okay I doubt she saw the nipple clamps or perhaps she thinks it is a new product from Weider.

There is a feeling that skin gets when exposed to th elements that is almost as pleasurable as the pain in play sessions/ IT tightens and those of a certain age will appreciate skin tightening up. All the little hairs stand up and well at least I have all sort of energy when in that state. There is coolness to the touch a wild feeling that is almost like rubbing cold hands together to create warmth.

No visits yesterday I do not know if I could have handle any as the enjoyment was rather high. Every sound was magnified waiting for it to turn into a ring at the door or worse since I do not lock the doors it could have turned into an embarrassing exposure of kinds. Perhaps tomorrow when I have a few hours of Hermit time in the morning not long but enough to get the blood flowing.

From 8:15 am till 1:pm

Well it is official tomorrow will be my first Hermit day. in almost three years. For those that do not know that is a say where I try to spend the day naked to the point of only having a hand towel to answer the door in. Not many have caught me like this but ther eis one that seems to all the time. I would have just enjoyed the time quietly but since She has always went out of her way to verify my nakedness along with taking the time to embarrassed the hell out of me as she asked me to let her know when I started again well tomorrow is the day.

So if there are no cars in the driveway that means no clothes for me

A need to be re-trained

So until I find a dominant or dominants I intend o try and be more submissive in my nature. Though being submissive to my mother in law was terribly humbling and greatly annoying to me I want to see if this was a fulfillment of desire or just a vacation from a more dominants personality.

So that means I am putting away my dominant side for the next two weeks. Well I will try to that is so as usual as I love giving others rules to live by I will do so for myself.

So first rule will be to be polite to every one along with not arguing with anyone. So no matter what I think of a dominant or another slave and vanillas I will be polite in my expression of ideas in discussions but will cede to their wisdom in discussion no matter what my view. I will, of course be happy to accept minor requests from them.

Beds will be made everyday by nine the kitchen and living room will be cleaned on Mondays and Wednesday the bathroom and bedroom on Tuesdays and Thursdays.

No swearing.
Proper words to be used only, no abbreviations nor slang in my spoken or written words.

I would sit back and list all sorts of rules with punishments but self-punishment seems to carry too much pleasure with it to be affective. So unless there is a good suggestion for other rules and or punishment from the World Wide Web I will just try to be mindful of etiquette and observant of others protocols.. As if I was the only student in a Victorian schoolhouse with thousands of teachers and even more rules. Two weeks could be an eternity.

Did some one say

Yes hermit time tonight for a few hours to the point of skinny dipping in the pool at 9 pm what fun. I hope it will be dark by then.......

A towel

Almost as good as being naked. The worry of it falling off at the wrong time while working is a thrill but it allows me a new way to experience Hermit time while others are around.
I have dismantled my den wearing only a towel. I have built my workshop in the garage wearing only a towel. I am able to clean my house in propriety for others yet enjoy the freedom and lack of feelings of clothes binding me in every way.

It is summer and since I am in and out of my pool there is no reason for anyone to pay attention that I am only wearing a towel. I swim everyday rain or sun so it is good so far. So now except for weekends and having to go out a towel is this slave’s outfit.

My workshop being in the garage is another place that gives me the thrill of nudity as I face away from the windows and it the towel falls well for a few seconds I am a cheeky devil hoping that the mail person might just be walking by and yes I do try to be in the garage around 11 when I can. Lol.

Now could be fun if the neighbours drop in for Tea (he he he evil grin). Perhpas I should offer a towel option for my cleaning services, every time I loose the towel I get spanked, better than that perhaps every time I loose the towel I would have to grasp my ankles and wait until spanked . all sorts of fun could be had let me count the ways! Hmmm I guess I would be a red ass cheeky devil then! Oh must run just enjoying my too many nasty thoughts of fun. Might have to write a story about towels now.